My Coming Out Story.

I will always remember the day I turned 21. I was on break from Occidental, and living at home with family at the time, and in the weeks preceding my birthday that year, I decided to initiate the process of coming out. Coming out was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

 My initial wish and goal was to come out to my family by introducing them to a potential boyfriend; however, since at the time, I was single, I knew I needed a special occasion worthy of making this special announcement. I ultimately decided that my 21st birthday would suffice.

 I have known I was gay since I was in the fourth grade. However, I ended up not deciding to truly come out to others until I was a young adult. One major motivating factor for me to come out was the supportive, LGBT-friendly campus climate at Occidental. I transferred there when I was 20. I am also fortunate to be surrounded by my extremely supportive family.

 Deciding when and where to come out was the initial part. Then came phase two. I decided to pen a letter to the members of my immediate family, mentioning the fact that I am gay. I had this letter printed on thick stationary, and put it in a frame. Additionally, I very carefully and pain-stakingly composed a blurb to post on the group Facebook page of my fraternity, Zeta Tau Zeta. Finally, I lovingly prepared an email to my supportive grandmother, and prepared to send it.

 Before the time came to make my special announcement, I had butterflies in my stomach. I felt like I was basically being eaten alive by anxiety, which was having its way with me in a merciless, vicious, relentless, and unconscionable way. It was some of the most anxiety I have ever felt in my life.

 However, as soon as I came out, the tide quickly turned, and an overpowering sense of release suffused me. The only person who was truly surprised by my sexuality was my eleven-year-old brother, whose jaw dropped, before saying, “I love you.” My sister and parents were very supportive, and so were my grandmother and my fraternity. My dad even embraced me, as small tears of joy and pride streamed down his cheeks. The outpouring of positive comments on my Facebook group was like a series of fireworks—with each successive explosion, I felt even more buoyed, just like spectators and revelers feel on the 4th of July.

 Since I turned 21, almost exactly ten years ago today, I have come out dozens and dozens of times, and each time, I have felt incredibly rewarded. I am incredibly proud of my sexuality. It is my very favorite thing about myself, with the possible exception of my name. As I compose this, I fondly and lovingly gaze at my full-size rainbow pride flag that is mounted to my bedroom wall.

 I treasure my sexuality with every breath in my body, and every beat of my heart. I find my attraction to men to be a gift from God. For some reason, I could never picture myself as straight. It is just incredibly offensive to me.

 To conclude this narrative, coming out has been, literally, the best birthday present that I have ever received.